Prevailing societal norms of romance often are destined to lead to much hurt and needless frustration. One living in Spirit cannot have intimate "romance" with a person, unless the two share a similar depth together. One can, also, enjoy depths of Love with a friend, beyond what many would call "romance." Love is More than what we have been conditioned to believe. We need to reexamine beliefs about It. This does not diminish the romantic element, only places it in the context of a larger whole of Love. And, finally, at the contemplative-mystical level, such Love does not have to appear logical to the mind. Indeed, such Love might seem illogical, and that might imply the Love is beyond mind, in and through and for Spirit.

*Arem Nahariim-Samadhi

And think not you can guide the course of love. For love, if it finds you worthy, shall guide your course.

*Kahlil Gibran

31 Release all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of harmful action. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another [releasing, or setting free, one another], just as Pure Spirit through Christ has forgiven [released; set free] you.

*Ephesians 4.31-32

The great commandment is not “thou shalt be right.” The great commandment is to “be in love.” Be inside the great compassion, the great stream, the great river. As others have rightly said, all that is needed is surrender and gratitude. All the burdens we carry are not just ours. The sin that comes up in us is not just our sin, it is the sin of the world. The joy that comes up in us is not just our personal joy, it is the joy of all creation. All we can do is accept and give thanks.

*Richard Rohr. Everything Belongs.

Thich Nhat Hanh, a Zen Buddhist Teacher, in Peace is Every Step, shares a teaching “Blaming Never Helps.” He uses the image of a lettuce. He remarks that we do not blame a lettuce, if it does not grow well. We inquire into reasons for the lack of healthy growth. We seek to help it flourish, for the success of the lettuce is its true nature. Yet, with other persons, Hanh clarifies, we can tend to blame, rather than seek to look compassionately and act with empathy. Yet, the natural tendency of the true nature of each person is to grow, flourish, and be a blessing.

Hanh shares an account of this teaching between a mother and her age-eight daughter. He had given a lecture in Paris about not blaming the lettuce. Hanh walked outside at break time, and when he turned a corner of the building during walking meditation, he heard the little girl speak to the mother. The little girl spoke, “Mommy, remember to water me. I am your lettuce.” The mother replied, “Yes, my daughter, and I am your lettuce also. So please don't forget to water me too.”

Richard Rohr, a Contemplative-Universalist Catholic, speaks of this nonblaming and graciousness of heart-mind. He refers, in Everything Belongs, to memories of confession in childhood. The other teenage boys and he would line up to confess to a young Irish priest. The older priest, Richard describes as - “the old Irish monsignor [who] was terrible.” The older priest would yell at the boys. The younger priest, rather, spoke positive things about the Divine Love and affirmed to the boys how important their lives were. Rohr says, “We'd make up sins just to go in there and talk to him.”

We can turn from the blame, and express compassionate empathy, like the mother and eight-year old daughter, and like the young Irish priest, through an empathic-identification with others. When we realize we are one with another, we have less tendency to blame, and more tendency to seek to understand and nurture him or her.

This nurturing, non-blaming attitude is seen in a Jesus saying. Jesus speaks about our sharing in the grace of forgiveness:

And when he had said this, Jesus breathed on them and spoke to them, "Receive the Holy Spirit. If you release the sins of any, they are released; if you withhold this release, it is withheld."

*John 20.22-23

We have a powerful potential influence on other persons whom we could blame. Our act of forgiveness, our sharing with them in forgiving themselves, in our union with the person, can be a radically freeing act. And, again, this is impossible without moving beyond blame.

Rohr writes: “Forgiveness is God's entry into powerlessness, as we see in the image of the cross.” So, we cannot participate in forgiveness for others, unless we are willing to feel one with them in their powerlessness and need for Grace, the same Grace we need humbly to receive.

Thomas Merton speaks enlightening words on this joy of being one, rather than standing aloof and feeling superior to those in need for Gracious Help. He wrote, “My happiness could have taken form in the words: 'Thank God, thank God that I am like other men, that I am only a man among others.'”

*Thomas Merton. Thomas Merton. Ed. Aileen Taylor.

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The Essence of LOVE-Mysticism is to look "within," to find there the Light of G-D That is in Everyone...

* * * CLOSING BLESSING * * *

The Sacred in Me bows to the Sacred in You

*Arem Nahariim-Samadhi and Love Light Ministries (5.15.11). Arem is available to respond to requests pertaining to seeking a Spiritual Director, his speaking, doing classes, workshops, or retreats for groups. For questions pertaining to these ministries, or other matters you wish to write Arem about, see below, or message Arem on Facebook at Arem Nahariim-Samadhi.

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